How to Win
by lobelia07
Summary: April Fools Day brings Sirius and James closer. Not a slash, but fun stupidity brings it pretty close.


Disclaimer- Mine? Not a chance in Hell.

Author's note- Here's number – what – five on my updating binge? Summer should be more exciting than this. Anyway, please leave a review whether you liked it or not. Any input is always wonderful. This story dedicated to Punam because she also thinks that the idea of Sirius/James slash is ludicrous and illogical. Let's face it, if Sirius was gay he'd be with Remus. Here's to making fun of it. Oh, and Laubo, I know there's a few inside jokes in here. Hope you don't mind – our lives are just that entertaining.

How to Win

April Fools was supposed to be beneath them. Every day of the year they pulled pranks, told jokes, and racked up more detentions than all of the students in their year combined. The first of April was a day for amateurs, they had decided. What was the point of pranking someone when everyone else was doing the same thing? It would be too expected, too redundant. The Marauders would never lower themselves to such standards. They would retain their dignity, they would hold on to their pride. In other words, they would prank each other instead.

It was a plan Sirius had deemed, "bloody perfect." Even in their second year it was hard to pull one over on the Marauders. The four would therefore do what no one else could. It was a competition – a contest to see who was truly the most accomplished mischief maker.

After Remus' third year fiasco, however, when the best he could do was to switch out all of James' quills with those of an Augurey, he came to the decision that he was more of a mischief upholder than an actual mischief maker. Although the quills repelled ink, successfully preventing James from writing a thing, the boy simply asked Lily Evans for a spare quill and Remus thought it best to drop out of the competition. And after Peter found that he could do no better than copy this prank the following year, he too decided to be a spectator.

James and Sirius though, were relentless. Their talent for causing trouble was matched only by each other. During their fifth year, James came out ahead in the struggle for reputation rights after casting a jinx on Sirius that made the words "I love Snape" appear in glowing letters on his back every time the boy said "and" in a sentence. Sirius didn't figure it out until double potions that day when Snape approached him to say that he was an "arse-faced git."

Sirius pulled back in sixth year by promising McGonagall that he would stay out of trouble for a week – a record for him – if she told James that she was his godmother during their Transfiguration class. James rambled on, terrified, for the entire day about protection spells he could establish for his parents so he wouldn't ever have to live with his Head of House. When Sirius finally told him the truth he was caught somewhere between relief and loathing.

Over the years April Fools Day had become a simple way to challenge their abilities. After all, the best adversary is always someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Each boy was determined to win, especially this year – their final year at Hogwarts. Sirius usually played more to the mind games approach of a prank. Completely confusing someone for an entire day, like when he cast a spell to switch all of the titles on Remus' books in third year, appealed more to him than James' overt acts of embarrassment. Both methods were equally affective. This year though, each had to be spectacular.

It was during a free period on the morning of April first that Sirius told James he couldn't think of a prank. The two were alone in Gryffindor Tower as Remus had dragged Peter to the library to find yet another book, and James merely glanced at Sirius before rolling his eyes.

"Contrary to Lily's belief, I am not stupid Padfoot," he said with a yawn. "Like I'm going to fall for that load of crap?"

Sirius' harsh glare at this statement soon became an expression of slight desperation. "Why'd I have a feeling you wouldn't believe me?" he said. "I know you think this is just another prank. With absolute sincerity, I'll once again tell you that it's not."

"Really?"

"Really."

James burst out laughing.

"What," Sirius began through gritted teeth, "is so damn funny?"

Catching his breath and steadying himself for a response, James replied, "It's just, this has got to be the lamest attempt at a prank I've ever seen. I expected better from you Sirius."

"I'm not kidding around," Sirius insisted. "I went to Remus for Merlin's sake! It was really no big surprise when the best idea I received from him was to transfigure all of your shoes into socks. I spoke to Regulus because he hates you and might have a couple ideas on how best to get to you, but after about five seconds of talking he told me to sod off. And Evans was absolutely no help at all," he continued, now in full rant mode. "All she had to say was, 'This stupid thing you and James do is so immature. When will you grow up already?'"

James snorted at Sirius' rather accurate impression of his girlfriend and said with a sickly glow in his eyes, "That does sound like Lily."

"I'm done!" Sirius exclaimed pathetically. "I can't do this anymore! I've completely lost it and it's all your fault!"

"My fault?" James asked with a still-skeptical smile. "How would it be _my_ fault?"

"Because of what you do to me Prongs! Because when I think about you I can't concentrate! Because you're so bloody hot!"

James blinked. "W-er-_what_?" he said, his voice hoarse with shock.

Sirius glanced down at his lap. The covers of the four poster bed he was sitting on flowed around him in a tide of crimson. Looking back up at James, he started tentatively, "We've been best friends for seven years. I know what I'm risking in telling you this, but I have to – it's driving me mad." He took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you James."

His friend choked. "You're, er…. What was that again?"

"I love you," Sirius repeated.

Silence. Uncomfortable, painful silence. And then, "But, uh, how, er, can you know?" asked James awkwardly. "I mean, no offence Sirius, but you do seem to love a lot of people. Isn't it possible that this is just some temporary –"

"It's real," Sirius put forth passionately, interrupting James' reasoning. He rose gracefully and padded his way to James' bed where he took a seat next to the other boy and gazed at him imploringly. "I know I've been with a lot of people, but I've never felt this way about any of them. I can't stop thinking about you. There's a box under my bed loaded with nothing but pictures of you and me. In class my notes are only about you. And at night when I'm alone –"

"Uh, that's alright, you don't have to tell me," James stopped him abruptly.

Sirius reached forward one of his hands and placed it gently on James' knee. "It's weird, and it seems so utterly random," he breathed, "but I really do love you."

James looked down at the hand warily. But then he brought his eyes up to meet Sirius' and his face suddenly relaxed. He grasped his friend's hand and smiled. "I feel the same way."

It was Sirius' turn to blink. Laughing awkwardly, he managed a simple, "What?"

"For years I just thought that it was because we spent so much time together that I was somehow attracted to you. We were just really close friends. But hearing you say those things made me realize how wrong I was – how deep my feelings for you really go."

"But, uh, what about Evans?"

"She was the one girl I could never have. But my interest in her veiled my interest for you. It doesn't matter anymore –"

And with this James swooped forward, catching Sirius' mouth with his, hungrily kissing lips that remained resolutely closed. Sirius careened backwards onto the floor in shock.

"What the –"

Peering over the side of the bed, James smacked his lips and offered his friend a smirk. "Happy April Fools Day Padfoot."

Sirius looked up at him, thoroughly confused, his chest moving up and down rapidly with each labored breath. And then comprehension dawned. "How – how did you know?"

"Easy," James said cheerfully. "I _am_ the best. And like I'd ever give up Lily Evans for you…."

"But what if I had been saying the truth?" said Sirius indignantly, scrambling to his feet. "What if those emotions were real?"

"Were they?"

"Well, no, but –"

"Then let's just leave it at, _I win_."


End file.
